Midweek blues

Breakdown of lab machines,
Setting back experiments,
Cleaning duty woes,
Mosquito rearing boredom.

Alarms are beeping,
From the cooling facility,
Due to broken air-conditioning,
Giving me a headache.

Brain drained away,
By mundane repetition,
Of laboratory life,
Situated in a basement.

Bank Holidays mean nothing,
When you have to work anyway,
At my wits end,
when things go wrong.

So this is midweek,
Another two days labour,
Time flies by so quickly,
Even when you are not having fun.

It's still raining!

After two weeks, the weather is still grey and wet. Gah! Please! I don't want to cycle on the slippery road and getting a free shower anymore! Besides, would like to participate in some outdoor sports. Right now, what is on offer is Aqua Tennis. But really that isn't my thing...
So anyway, I've gone for two lessons of Karate... Ouch! Seven years of hiatus in this field has left me in muscle fatigue (pain!) that did experienced when I first started in martial arts. At least I can still remember some basic kicks and blocks :S, but not much else. So at the end, I've resolved to start again from the beginning. One thing I like about the Oxford Karate Club is the dojo. It really is a dojo! Wow! Oh and the sensei insists on using Japanese terms only so I'm left a little baffled at times because my previous experience was taught in English. But hey, at least then joining Karate not only gives you the workout and martial arts skill, but also teachers you a new language.
Right, I best cycle home now while the rain is letting up a little.

An obscure observation: When it is raining, and you sing the song "Rain rain go away", does it rain harder or does the rain stop? In my experiences, it always rain harder and harder! Okay, this is bull I know. (For the record, I only did this when I was young! :P)

Bunny coolness!

Have a look at today's Bunny.
Hehehe!
I love Bunny!

English Summer Rain

"English Summer Rain
Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.
Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages."

Somehow sometimes the weather suits my mood. As said absent grey matter in cranial cavity is no where to be found, and things just feel absolutely stagnant at the moment.

I'm in the basement, you're in the sky,
I'm in the basement baby, drop on by.
I'm in the basement, you're in the sky,
I'm in the basement baby, drop on by.

And what is worst is my basement lab (which I sometime refer to as the "dungeon" for it's cold and gloomy interior decor). I could just about see the rain from the small underground window. There is hardly any light coming through it.

Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.
Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.

I'm in the basement, you're in the sky,
I'm in the basement baby, drop on by.
I'm in the basement, you're in the sky,
I'm in the basement baby, drop on by.

Hold your breath and count to ten,
And fall apart and start again,
Hold your breath and count to ten,
Start again, start again...
Hold your breath and count your step,
And fall apart and start again,
Start again...

Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.
Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.

Hold your breath and count to ten,
And fall apart and start again,
hold your breath and count to ten,
Start again, start again...
Hold your breath and count to ten,
And fall apart and start again,
Old your breath and count to ten,
And start again, and start again,

Start again...

Maybe when the sun decides to make appearance sometime this week, my life would feel and be a little better. Right now I'll have to wait patiently and plough on.


"English Summer Rain" lyrics by Placebo

Wanted: Missing brain

If there is a theme song for me, right now it would be "Where's your head at" by Basement Jaxx. Really, I'm doing research like a headless monkey. I get so muddled up and tell my supervisor (who can be scary sometimes) the wrong things. It's like a writer's block, except that there's no capacity to analyse or execute experiments properly instead of creative writing.
So, I was told to go and review my work. How shameful.
:(

Why in the world am I so confused? Lack of concentration? Maybe I don't really have the brain to do this line of work... can someone lend me a brain please?

Maybe I need to clear my head first.

Bogged down

I'm so bogged down with work and other responsibilities to the point of going insane.

"I think I'm drowning
asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
that you've created"


Just how far will I let this go on?


"you will be the death of me
you will be the death of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out"

I need to find a way to keep myself in one piece. I can't and won't let things get in the way of my own life.

(Partial lyrics from Muse, Time is Running Out)

May Day, Oxford style

Sunday. A few new friends and I took a trip down to Magdalen College for an all nighter movie marathon, hoping to brush away this dark cloud that is building within me. Magdalen as some may have known, is one of the more well known Oxford colleges, and more recently as one of the colleges used for the Harry Porter movies. We stayed awake the whole night, watching films that require little or no brain power. Then at 6 am May Day, we braved the rain and cold, and gathered in the courtyard to witness an annual tradition that dates back to the 4th century called Evensong. Above the Magdalen Tower, the choristers gathered and as the soon as the bell in the tower finished ringing six time, they started to sing, it was as if everything was frozen, except for the hymn that echoed into the stillness. Then there was a short latin prayer, and another hymn. Somehow, it was a calming experience, even though I was still carrying a gloom along with me...

I guess that the previous weeks' positivity is at it's end, I am back to the melancholy that is too familiar. I remember my teenage years, when nearly everyday was like this... even to a point where I could barely move to do anything. It's sometimes amazing how I could have gotten myself somewhat afloat again, even if it isn't so well done. But hey, I'm still here, fighting year after year to maintain buoyancy... And here again I feel that same dead weight that wants to drag me down into the deeps of despair.
So as I was standing on the grass of the courtyard, looking up at Magdalen Tower, I wonder what is it I am here for... I now remind myself of a quote from a former Magdalen college student:

"The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for."
- Oscar Wilde, 1854 - 1900

I hope you are right, Mr. Wilde. I hope you are right...

Now, I wonder how many idiotic students has jumped off Magdalen Bridge into the shallow river Cherwell as part of a May Day celebration this year?

Another Sunday antics

Sunday was rainy, so what better to do at home? Another cooking experiment! My, is this turning out to be a food blog?

After Easter, I had some leftover white chocolate and about a pint of double cream... what better excuse to make some creme brulee? :P


Firstly, made some Langue De Chat on Friday night... to much of a housemate's irritation as I only finished baking by midnight. Sorry!


And then on to the brulee - white chocolate and raspberry brulee that is... Unfortunately, I couldn't get the burnt sugar layer right as I only have an electric grill... Here's the first one served with extra raspberries and Langue De Chat.


Second attempt , still couldn't get the caramel right. I guess that's why people usually use a blowtorch. So if anyone would like to buy me a blowtorch as a birthday present... much appreciated, as strange as that sounds!

The People's Petition

It's Saturday and I'm avoiding the city centre as I got news that there will be a large animal rights demo today. I'm tired of these people, and I know many others are too.
Hence, David Taylor has the idea of putting an online petition that is pro-research. If you want to know more about the three statements this petition is for, and hopefully sign up for it, then click on the title of this post. Unfortunately, as these so called animal lovers are so aggressive, the petition can be signed anonymously.
The anti-vivisectionists critise this of course, but after all that has been happening, you cannot say that it is unneccessary. Once, I've witnessed students being shouted at and intimidated as they enter the Zoology Department, even though many of these students studies and work for the progress of welfare and conservation of animals. Buildings belonging to the university are also damaged thanks to them.

I am pro-life, therefore I agree with this petition. How about you?

Easter is the excuse for choc overdose

What a weekend! Was your Easter weekend a pigging out session on tons of chocolate? Mine was, starting with a rich chocolate cake of my own concoction on Saturday. Then Sunday, a chocolate egg hunt in a local garden, then a lunch, with more chocolate afterwards.

As you can see, my oh so bold attempt to decorate it as a bird's nest did not turn out quite so well after a couple of mishaps. So then I dubbed it the Easter Dinosaur Nest. Amount of chocolate: 500g of Belgian dark (for the cake), 100g of white chocolate and a bag of Terry's chocolate orange eggs.


Here's one of my egg hunt reward: The evil Cadbury's Creme Egg! So sweet that even your teeth cries in protest! :P
Amount of chocolate consumed at the hunt: 3 eggs, fragments of a chocolate bunny, and a handful of other chocolates.

Ugh, maybe that is why I'm feeling a little sick now... ooo! there is still a quarter of the cake left in the fridge!

Stuck in between experiments

I've run out of a few essential things for experiments... Nothing I can do now but wait till next week, when hopefully I can continue.
Everyone is more or less is in a holiday mood. The department is pretty much empty now, save or a few mental people (including yours truly) that will work over Easter. Le sigh, I hope at the end of my three year research, something useful will come out of it. Meanwhile, Happy Easter... even though it isn't of any significance to me, except that I'll be stuffing myself with chocolate. That I will :).

Here's what I'm listen to at the moment: Bloc Party's "Plans"

Wake up dreamer
It's happening without you
Cut your hair and shave your beard
You squandered your chances
I'll give you a thousand pounds
To show me how you do it
Stop being so laissez-faire
We're all scared of the future

Been training vipers to come for you
In your dreams to release you
Been training vipers to come for you
In your sleep
And the ravens are leaving the tower
And the ravens are leaving the tower
Make your peace

I've got a taste for blood
Leave the weak, leave the young
I've got a taste for blood
I'm walking out without you
You will kill or be killed
It's about progress
I've got a taste for blood

Wake up sleepyhead
It's happening without you
Such a nice guy
You tell me everything twice
Whipcrack speed jump
We will run backwards
Stop being so laissez-faire
We're all scared of the future

We make plans for big times
Get bogged down, distracted
We make plans for good times
All neon, all surface
So kiss me before it all gets complicated
I've got a taste for blood

Something's up with Mos...

Many failed experiments, but I do have some results to work with... What does it mean? I feel like I'm at a dead end... I'm reminded of Jack Skellington's obsession with solving the secret to Christmas.

"There are so many things I cannot grasp
When I think I've got it, and then at last
Through my bony fingers it does slip
Like a snowflake in a fiery grip

Something's here I'm not quite getting
Though I try, I keep forgetting
Like a memory long since past
Here in an instant, gone in a flash
What does it mean?
What does it mean?"

Oh woe, what to do with my data?

"Simple objects, nothing more
But something's hidden through a door
Though I do not have the key
Something's there I cannot see
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
Hmm..."

I've stared and tinkered around with my data, I still can't make any sense with it other than some basic stuff...

"Or perhaps it's really not as deep
As I've been led to think
Am I trying much too hard?
Of course! I've been too close to see
The answer's right in front of me
Right in front of me"

Or is it? Time for a visit to the supervisor...

On a Sunday...

I usually spend my Sundays at home. Doing laundry, food shopping, reading, artwork... So today's no different. The day started out with plenty of sunshine, and so I cycled down to visit the Prophets of Tesco. The fresh chicken shelves were on sale: Buy one get one free! Needless to say this was sparked by the recent event of bird flu in the country. Oh for goodness sake! It's in Scotland! But anyway, I thought I should stock up on chicken since memory serves that the prices of poultry and related products will sky-rocket after this. I also bought a few stuff on a wimp that will soon be my lazy Sunday's main event...
So lugging kilos of food (of which half being chicken), I cycled home: in the rain. The meak sun was smothered again and heavy dark clouds summoned tiny droplets of near iced rain dancing around with the chilly winds. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my gloves and so had the luxury of watching my hands turn snow white, then an angry red. And the pain! Heh, that is spring for you.

Right, so after a nice cup of tea and a flapjack (whilst watching the rain that turned into hail and then return of the sun), I started my first attempt at making a japanese cheesecake. I don't know why did I suddenly felt like making cheesecakes... I started at around 4pm, and by the time I've finished with the baking it was 6.30pm! But I guess it was well worth it because the cake turned out quite yummy, if not soft and fluffy as it should. But with the decor on, it was rather pretty. And I was pretty chuffed too when some housemates thought I bought it. Too bad the cake's pristine condition was to last for like 10 minutes! Most of it now sits in the stomachs of five people.


The cake after all the lovely trimmings on. Sad to say the souffle-ness started to sink after a bit.


After dinner, I've got something else to look forward to... yum!

So all in all, not a bad first attempt. ;)

In between experiments 3

Waiting for the results... and some chemicals for further experiments... so la dee da!

Here's anothere song by The Editors that's stuck in my mind thanks to my little sister.

"Distance"

Distance, I'll keep my distance
These things I never seem to meet
So I'll leave the murder scene

Honey, what got broke here
Won't go back together again
So I'll leave this while I can

Here
Here
Here
Here

Nothing, to be scared of
My dreams they keep a hold of me
My guide when I can't see

Call, I will be there
I'm sure you're passing the test
I wish you all the best

Here
Here
Here
Here
...

Escape to the Welsh landscape

And so after much stressful work, I've decided to go back to Cardiff for a visit. Unfortunately, I failed to catch wind of a football match that weekend (Swansea vs Carlisle if anyone is interested, oh and Swansea won). But fortunately, my friends brought me to escape the city football-craze scene: the Brecon Beacons of superb Welsh landscape! Didn't take many stunning pictures though...


Taken in a moving car...


Abergavenny Castle... in Abergavenny (Y-Fenni in Welsh) Town, Monmouthshire of course.

Now that I'm no longer living in Wales, I realised it is not a bad place to be afteralll. With that, I was a little sad to leave the country... by train packed full of people in blue and white, or black and white.

Start all over again

What happens when you failed to get things done right?
Start all over again!
:(

Anyway, a little cheer me up by watching the latest Never Mind the Buzzcocks on BBC2. Here is a snippet of the episode. You can watch the whole episode on the BBC2 website.


Okay here's another one:

RNA is a pain

I hate it when I work with RNA (Ribonucleic acid). It's so sensitive to degradation that everything has to be sterile and RNase(protein that kills RNA) free. That means heaps of autoclaving (um, a sterilsing chamber) and keeping everything clean/sterilised at an almost paranoia level. I hate working with RNA!

For those who don't understand what the heck I'm going about, please disregard this post. I just have to gripe on a Monday.

Monday Blues

Like a Carpenter's song: Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

And even more so when it's a rainy Monday.

To top it off: lots to do, not enough time to do it!

In between experiments 2

And as I leave my experiments to run overnight, here I am posting another before I head home after a day's hectic work.

Radio 1 is playing "All Sparks" by The Editors alot. And since it's the only channel I could get in my basement lab, it's now stuck in my head. Heh, this song is somewhat suitable for me at the mo... just read the lyrics.


You're answering questions that have not yet been asked
All sparks will burn out in the end

You burn like a bouncing cigarette on the road
All sparks will burn out in the end

All sparks will burn out
All sparks will burn out
All sparks will burn out
In the end

You're casting opinions at people who need them
All sparks will burn out in the end

Well be careful angel, this life is just too long
All sparks will burn out in the end

All sparks will burn out
All sparks will burn out
All sparks will burn out
In the end

You burn like a bouncing cigarette

All sparks will burn out
All sparks will burn out
All sparks will burn out
All sparks will burn out
All sparks will burn out
All sparks will burn out
All sparks will burn out
In the end

I was served by Draco!

Went to my local Co-op for some groceries. And guess who was the cashier? heheheheh!





It's actually the self-service checkout machine I'm afraid.