Midweek blues

Breakdown of lab machines,
Setting back experiments,
Cleaning duty woes,
Mosquito rearing boredom.

Alarms are beeping,
From the cooling facility,
Due to broken air-conditioning,
Giving me a headache.

Brain drained away,
By mundane repetition,
Of laboratory life,
Situated in a basement.

Bank Holidays mean nothing,
When you have to work anyway,
At my wits end,
when things go wrong.

So this is midweek,
Another two days labour,
Time flies by so quickly,
Even when you are not having fun.

It's still raining!

After two weeks, the weather is still grey and wet. Gah! Please! I don't want to cycle on the slippery road and getting a free shower anymore! Besides, would like to participate in some outdoor sports. Right now, what is on offer is Aqua Tennis. But really that isn't my thing...
So anyway, I've gone for two lessons of Karate... Ouch! Seven years of hiatus in this field has left me in muscle fatigue (pain!) that did experienced when I first started in martial arts. At least I can still remember some basic kicks and blocks :S, but not much else. So at the end, I've resolved to start again from the beginning. One thing I like about the Oxford Karate Club is the dojo. It really is a dojo! Wow! Oh and the sensei insists on using Japanese terms only so I'm left a little baffled at times because my previous experience was taught in English. But hey, at least then joining Karate not only gives you the workout and martial arts skill, but also teachers you a new language.
Right, I best cycle home now while the rain is letting up a little.

An obscure observation: When it is raining, and you sing the song "Rain rain go away", does it rain harder or does the rain stop? In my experiences, it always rain harder and harder! Okay, this is bull I know. (For the record, I only did this when I was young! :P)

Bunny coolness!

Have a look at today's Bunny.
Hehehe!
I love Bunny!

English Summer Rain

"English Summer Rain
Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.
Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages."

Somehow sometimes the weather suits my mood. As said absent grey matter in cranial cavity is no where to be found, and things just feel absolutely stagnant at the moment.

I'm in the basement, you're in the sky,
I'm in the basement baby, drop on by.
I'm in the basement, you're in the sky,
I'm in the basement baby, drop on by.

And what is worst is my basement lab (which I sometime refer to as the "dungeon" for it's cold and gloomy interior decor). I could just about see the rain from the small underground window. There is hardly any light coming through it.

Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.
Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.

I'm in the basement, you're in the sky,
I'm in the basement baby, drop on by.
I'm in the basement, you're in the sky,
I'm in the basement baby, drop on by.

Hold your breath and count to ten,
And fall apart and start again,
Hold your breath and count to ten,
Start again, start again...
Hold your breath and count your step,
And fall apart and start again,
Start again...

Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.
Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.

Hold your breath and count to ten,
And fall apart and start again,
hold your breath and count to ten,
Start again, start again...
Hold your breath and count to ten,
And fall apart and start again,
Old your breath and count to ten,
And start again, and start again,

Start again...

Maybe when the sun decides to make appearance sometime this week, my life would feel and be a little better. Right now I'll have to wait patiently and plough on.


"English Summer Rain" lyrics by Placebo

Wanted: Missing brain

If there is a theme song for me, right now it would be "Where's your head at" by Basement Jaxx. Really, I'm doing research like a headless monkey. I get so muddled up and tell my supervisor (who can be scary sometimes) the wrong things. It's like a writer's block, except that there's no capacity to analyse or execute experiments properly instead of creative writing.
So, I was told to go and review my work. How shameful.
:(

Why in the world am I so confused? Lack of concentration? Maybe I don't really have the brain to do this line of work... can someone lend me a brain please?

Maybe I need to clear my head first.

Bogged down

I'm so bogged down with work and other responsibilities to the point of going insane.

"I think I'm drowning
asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
that you've created"


Just how far will I let this go on?


"you will be the death of me
you will be the death of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out"

I need to find a way to keep myself in one piece. I can't and won't let things get in the way of my own life.

(Partial lyrics from Muse, Time is Running Out)

May Day, Oxford style

Sunday. A few new friends and I took a trip down to Magdalen College for an all nighter movie marathon, hoping to brush away this dark cloud that is building within me. Magdalen as some may have known, is one of the more well known Oxford colleges, and more recently as one of the colleges used for the Harry Porter movies. We stayed awake the whole night, watching films that require little or no brain power. Then at 6 am May Day, we braved the rain and cold, and gathered in the courtyard to witness an annual tradition that dates back to the 4th century called Evensong. Above the Magdalen Tower, the choristers gathered and as the soon as the bell in the tower finished ringing six time, they started to sing, it was as if everything was frozen, except for the hymn that echoed into the stillness. Then there was a short latin prayer, and another hymn. Somehow, it was a calming experience, even though I was still carrying a gloom along with me...

I guess that the previous weeks' positivity is at it's end, I am back to the melancholy that is too familiar. I remember my teenage years, when nearly everyday was like this... even to a point where I could barely move to do anything. It's sometimes amazing how I could have gotten myself somewhat afloat again, even if it isn't so well done. But hey, I'm still here, fighting year after year to maintain buoyancy... And here again I feel that same dead weight that wants to drag me down into the deeps of despair.
So as I was standing on the grass of the courtyard, looking up at Magdalen Tower, I wonder what is it I am here for... I now remind myself of a quote from a former Magdalen college student:

"The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for."
- Oscar Wilde, 1854 - 1900

I hope you are right, Mr. Wilde. I hope you are right...

Now, I wonder how many idiotic students has jumped off Magdalen Bridge into the shallow river Cherwell as part of a May Day celebration this year?