Slow torture

Headaches, arm pain, upper back pain, shoulder, elbow, wrist pain... it's probably easier if I were to actually break my arm. Physiotherapy is not working so well and the only thing that is helping me right now is the needles. It's nearly 6 months, and am still showing very little signs of improvement (if any).

This is surely like slow torture...

Needles Karma

It feels like a trial of pain endurance lately. Here I am struggling to keep sane from the pain in my arm and shoulder I am still having since the bike accident while trying to write my thesis in the slowest possible pace, which is a tremendous pain in itself. My doctor has prescribed some drugs for me to help me, but the side-effects are so strong. It nearly isn't worth taking the drug which, by the way, just took off some of the edge of the stabbing pain. But when you are feeling like there is a knitting needle stuck into your back, any pain relief you can get is good.

Which brings me to my topic for this post. While bearing/grimacing the pain, work must still go on. I've been dissecting mosquitoes for my next experiment. And as you know the mosquito is a tiny creature, and conventional dissecting tools are far too big for this kind of work. Therefore, I used acupuncture needles to do the job. Here's how it looks like under the microscope.



Funnily enough, when at the doctor's... while being prescribed the painkillers for temporary relief, I was also advised to sought out other ways to treat my shoulder. One word was suggested:

Acupuncture

At first I thought the doctor was joking. But recalling a conversation I once had with a postdoc from Sweden, where acupuncture is a legit form of treatment on their NHS, I thought maybe I shouldn't dismiss this doctor just yet.
So off I went at to a respectable sounding acupuncturist (i.e. certified therapist) and have it done, and hey presto! The stabbing pain was gone... by stabbing me with six needles no doubt... oh, the irony!

Well, there you go. Acupuncture is a way to go with nerve injuries. In fact, even WHO approved the treatment. Unfortunately for me, this treatment is not on the NHS. I'll have to cut down on the drinks and night outs now. Then again, I wasn't doing too much of those anyway lately.

Tinkering around...

I'm really no techno geek. But finally today I've decided to try out the new customisation of Blogger thanks to Ping. Bear with me, as I only have very little spare time to be tinkering around with this blog. And with a still dodgy arm... I think I may overdid it already ... :(

Valentine's amusement

There was a guy on Cornmarket Street yesterday with a large sign that read:

"Happy Valentine's Day.
Fancy a date?
Over 18 only."

I was tempted to take a picture, but thought he was embarrassed enough already, given the stares and other cameras taking him. I wonder if that was a dare or a lost bet?

Happy Darwin Day!

Charles Darwin was born 200 years ago on this day. His theory on natural selection is the foundation of every biologists. Today, Darwin Day will be celebrated by millions across the world. Oxford University is making a bit of an effort into it. You can now download Darwin's book Origin of Species from Oxford University and Google Book. Now go read it! and have a bit of cake while you're at it too!

Pain continues... bleh

Been back to the doctor for my injuries and this time I'm being taken more seriously. I was sent up the hill (hospital on the hill, that is) for an xray and am happy to say that the wrist look alright. But the suspicion is that I probably had a Scaphoid fracture and after 6 weeks, it's healed. As for the shoulder, it's still hurts like it was a month ago. After weeks of putting off using my right hand and arm (and that is such a feat), I've now noticed the difference, and how weak the right arm has become.
I've been referred to a physiotherapist and given some rehabilitation exercise to do. Man that hurts, and am expected to hurt even more in order to gain back my muscle strength.
I wonder if I had help earlier on, would I have to suffer still, or could my pain had ended far earlier after the injury?
Anyway, what's done is done. I can't change any of what has happened. All now is hope I get a full recovery and get back to working full force.


Here's one of the exercises I had to do. I actually have the same stress ball as this picture, and coincidentally, I can just about manage to squeeze about that much with my right hand.

And am back to being annoyed again

And being annoyed by the same person too.

Two postdocs in my lab started to discuss some orders they needed to do and since that person, whom made me angry so much not too long ago, was going to do the orders, he wanted to know how much the other postdoc needed. Since, I overheard the conversation, I asked what it was that they are ordering as it sounded as if it is something that I'll be needing too in my experiments. But what was the reply I got from Mr. Annoying???

"Why don't you write down your experiment plan for me so I know how much (of the chemicals) you actually need?"

Hang on a second man, what gives?

"I don't think I'll need a lot of it, well depending on your order size, that is." I said, well something like that anyway.
"Yeah still you should have your experiment plan written down, so do that and we'll see how much you need."

Needless to say, I was a bit confused. First of all, why the F*ck do I need to show him my experimental plan? He ain't my boss. Second of all, I know how much I need. I just need to know if there will be enough for me in the order too.

The other postdoc at this time came to my defense, saying I already have an experimental plan (which is true, as I had discussed this with him before since he was the expert in this field) and that my plan only calls for small usage in comparison to his experiment. So, I could potentially just use some of his when they order in. No need to put in an extra order.

Okay, so problem solved. But I just can't get over the arseyness of Mr. Annoying. He didn't ask the other postdoc to write his experimental plan for him to see. I have this feeling that I'm only being treated this way because I'm the bottom of the tier in this lab.

under-over-reacting: NHS vs self-help

So it has been like a month since my bike accident. My wrist still hurts, my back and shoulder still aches. Within the first week of my fall, I have already been to the GP for a check in case that the damage done was more serious than I had anticipated. OK, it doesn't help that my colleagues at work are scaring me with the possibilities of my condition but they were looking out for my best interest, I guess. Anyway, the diagnosis was that I have a sprain or sprains, and was advised with normal movement and NIASD for my pain. Unfortunately, ibuprofen is not a good friend of mine and I soon found it's ugly side-effects. In other words, they don't seem to do much for me.

Days later after my visit with medical professionals, and after trying his recommendation, I found myself still in pain and no improvement really. I really hate having to go back to my GP with his bored don'twastemytimewithyourminorailments face and somehow I left me feeling that I have over-reacted on a small injury... so off to Boots I go and got me a tubigrip to keep my joints in place. AND IT HELPS!

Now why didn't the bloody doctor advise me on this instead told me to keep using my arm as normal but no heavy lifting? The more joint movements I make the more painful they become. Surely this is not NORMAL?

Now at week 5, I'm finding my wrist a little bit improved. But shoulder and back is getting no better and my thumb joints are getting worse. I now have a neoprene wrist and thumb brace for people with carpal tunnel syndrome so I can keep working somewhat at my own expense.

Do I nag the NHS GP again? Or should I wait and do more DIY medical care? So far I have helped more than the doctor. Part of me feels like I'm over-reacting, yet part of me thinks I'm taking things too lightly...

At any case, I'm stuck with a situation where my work is suffering...

Bleh!

2009 better be my year

Happy 2009 everyone!

for the Chinese calendar, it will soon be the year of the Ox. And according to the zodiac, it will be a good year for me. Well, let's hope it is, cos I'll be needing a good year after so many crappy ones.

The year that was:

highlight: Got my diving license!
low: hit by car, still feeling the pain!

Well 2008 wasn't such a bad year, but it wasn't spectacular either. But I do wish that this year will be a great year for me, like finishing my Phd or something. One can always hope...

Bye-bye, Squeeky

As I was making my way to my department yesterday on my bike, I was unfortunate enough to be struck by a car pulling out of a university car park next to the Natural History Museum. They always say that in accidents, the event seemed to occur in slow motion. I remembered the split second before that car hit me from the side and sent me flying through the air. That split second glance and realisation was enough for me to brace myself for the impact, and immediately struggled to get up as the thought of the possibility of being run over by oncoming traffic was none too appealing. Fortunately, it was a Saturday.

"Are you OK?" the bloody driver asked. Why is it that people bother to ask that question?
I got up, picked up my helmet which came off on impact (fat lot of good that did... luckily my head didn't hit the floor... maybe I should get another helmet now). The driver repeated his question.
"No! I am not OK!" I practically shouted, "You just hit me with your car! How do you expect me to be OK???"
A few profanities (from me, mind you) later, I realised we were causing a scene, and a little trail of cars have piled up behind us. I suggested we clear the road. A couple of pedestrians came to aid us. They saw everything and was really concerned for my safety.

I seemed to be in a fairly good shape, though somewhat shaken up. There did not seemed to be a bruise on me thanks to winter clothing... but my wrist where I fell on was hurting... Now my entire arm aches :(
The pedestrians told me I was quite lucky, that I fell "right". Maybe my karate training makes me react quickly? But did advise me to go for a check just in case. But I have decided not to, as the hospital is quite some distance and the thought of waiting in the busy Emergency Department for hours and without a bruise to show would waste everyone's time.

My bike looked fine as well, until we tested it. Turns out that the rear wheel is bent and the gears were goners too. Repairs would cost about £70. I bought my bike for £85 three years ago. I settled for £70 cash instead of the driver paying me for repairs.
My poor bike. I had named it Squeeky as that's what it did the first few months I had it (until I gave it some oil). Squeeky had taken me to so many places in Oxford and had suffered countless abuses from me. Now my half-rusted steed is at the end. You have served me well, Squeeky. Good-bye :_(

Thank you as well to the lovely pedestrian couple who helped me at the scene. The lady gave me a satsuma to calm my nerves and they offered to be witnesses should I find I have more serious injuries.

My desk...

Here's the mess I left at a corner of my desk... thinking of going back tomorrow (or rather, later today) is giving me that sinking feeling already. But it has to be done!
Back to the grind, I guess. Wish me luck... and goodnight!

Frustration

I've been trying to solve this mystery of a gene for such a long time. Now, after countless hours of experimenting, analysing the result is like opening pandora's box. OK, maybe not as bad as pandora, but you know what I meant. Arrgh! And there three weeks ago I thought I had the answer... Every step I take to answer a question, there seems to be more questions cropping up instead. now at closer inspection, I had missed something and found something else and thus can't explain what I am seeing.

Needless to say, at 7pm on a Monday... I'm stuck with my work.

Papers are strewn all over my desk and I think I'm gonna leave it like that.
I'm just gonna go home now.

:(

Influences

So most of you would have read that Michael Crichton passed away about 2 weeks ago. It was kind of a surprise to me, as I didn't know he had been battling with the big C.
I grew up reading Crichton books and watching his films. And I have to confess that I probably was influenced by this writer and his stories to go into science when I was younger. In fact, looking back in my photo library, here I found one of my first mosquito collection, and guess where have I propped my test tubes on for a photo?





In fact, does this picture look familiar?



Sigh, the memories...

In between experiments: LaTeX

Okay, I honestly don't know which number this "in between experiments" post is... anyway...

So while I have a little time at work, i.e. waiting for experiment to finish, I thought about how I would be writing my thesis.

I like so many other peoples, have been using Microsoft Word (Mac version) to do my writings. But I just hated how this software seem to have a mind of it's own. Many times would it auto-correct, auto-space, auto-misaligneverythingbecauseyouputafigure, auto-whateverelseformatyoudidn'twanti&thatstupidrobotwindowwavingatyou and classically, crash, when too much writing is going on. Also in science, writing a paper/thesis requires citation and bibliography. EndNotes seemed to be the popular choice here for Word. But it isn't free.

So off I went to find myself a way out of the tyranny of Microsoft, and I remembered someone mentioned LaTeX. Now LaTeX (pronounced Lah/Lay-Tech, apparently) is not a word processor, but a "documentation system for high quality type-setting". It requires some knowledge of typing commands to get it to do what you want your document to look like... pretty much like html. For the bibliography, LaTex version is also available, called BibTex and you can use an application like BibDesk to enter all your references pretty much like EndNote. So your document is pretty much looks like a command screen. But once you finish and convert it to pdf or dvi format, you'll see your end result. And I think it looks pretty good.

I still haven't got the hang of it yet, but I am seriously considering using LaTeX to write my thesis. Problem is, no one uses this in my lab, including my boss... so I wonder if he'll be willing to do any corrections of my paper by hand. Ok, not no one I know... I only know one other person who used this for thesis-writing (and thus was chuffed when learnt that I am attempting to do the same, and even gave me a tutorial to speed my way. Ah, bless!).

The moment we've been waiting.

It seems like the whole world was watching the USA.

"And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world - our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.
To those who would tear the world down - we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security - we support you.
And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright - tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.
For that is the true genius of America - that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow."

-Barrack Hussein Obama II, president-elect of the USA.


Well done, America.

Laazzieee

Not that I'm the most hard working person in the world...

But my boss is possibly the laziest person I've met.
He emailed me from his office next door to have me go get the serial number of one broken PCR machine in our basement lab.
Can't he just go himself? He only sits in his office all day. He could do with the exercise.

Bleh!


What's a PCR machine?

UFO: Alien Invasion - cool game, and FREE!

If you miss the old 90's game called X-COM, you will like this one! The best thing is that it is completely free! It also runs on macs.
Thank you to the people who made this game.

There goes my free time...

Download UFO: Alien Invasion here

Oxford Learning at home via iTunes!

Now you can listen to top lectures and more from Oxford on iTunes!

I'm chuffed! I'm now listening to Sir Nicholas Stern's lecture on Economics of Climate Change while typing this.

Talk about useful multitasking...

The Best Longest Sojourn Chapter 1 Quotes

While waiting for the next step in doing work (and making myself feel better after yesterday's episode), I reread the first chapter of TLS. My! The hilarity! So hence I decided that I should share with you my favourite quotes from this chapter. This is why I love TLS so much!


Page 2
Jaeger: “By th’ way, why are you doin’ on th’ ground, Kingy? Waita minnit! Those are spirit bonds! I declare! You’ve been messin’ with a death priest, Kingy!”
Tytus: “My! How nice of you to notice!”

Page 5
Daenon: “Have you two completely lost your wits? Because you have to be lacking in something if you want me to conduct something like this!”

Page 7
Daenon: “I don’t respond well to threats, Tytus!”
Tytus: “Maybe not, but hopefully you’ll respond better to the lack of air, eh, Master Daenon?”

Page 8
Tytus: “Oh my dear, sweet Magara! Death cannot keep us apart. I’ll dinf a way to bring us together… I promise!”
Daenon: (thinking) Why not just kill yourself and make things easier for the rest of us, you stubborn fool?”

Page 9
Daenon: (thinking) This would be almost amusing if it were not so unnecessarily cruel…

Page 10
Thorne: “I’m just not worth it!”
Daenon: (thinking) Now that is a person who values his life cheaply!

Page 13
Tytus: “What kind of unholy Calderan noise is this?!”

Page 14
Keenan: Thorne! You’re alive!”
Thorne: “Yeah well, uh should I have played dead or something?”

Page 15
Tytus: “Don’t just stand there… Kill him! Off with his head!”

Page 17
Tytus: “Pull his beard out – hair by hair!”
Daenon: “You are sick! Do you know that?!”

Page 20
Tytus: “… We had them cornered…”
Jaeger: “We?”
Tytus: “All right! My guards!”

Page 22
Thorne: “… Why are you back in the moat? Did you fall in?”
Daenon: “No, I decided to go for another dive! Of course I fell in! Did you think I’d find one drenching so invigorating that I would go for another?”

Page 25
Keenan: (thinking) Me? Just a pretty boy? Hmmph! (Tytus then yells in a fit of rage.)
… A petrified pretty boy, maybe?

Tytus: “ I want them beheaded! Decapitated! With heads chopped off!”

Page 26
Tytus (on being accused of having an attitude like King Fischer of Caldera): “…and I am not one bit like that vicious, avaricious, tyrant!”
Somewhere in The Empire of Caldera…
Fischer: “I do know all about that Sojournan king… and I’m not one bit like that bloodthirsty tyrant!”

Page 27
Tytus: “All Right! I accept your proposition! Just… SHUT UP!”

Page 28
Daenon (to Thorne): “Do you mean to tell me you fought your own guards, jumped from a high tower into a lizard infested moat, then ridden all this way… and yet you are not sure I if you want to live?”

Page 33
Mercenary 1: “I know where ee’s gwoing! Let’s gwo!”
Wilye (to Jaeger): “Well, gotta go, sweetcheeks! Let me know if ya want a job!”

Page 34
Jaeger (on realising what the Bloody Brigades was after): “D’oh! That’s mah job they’re after!”

Page 37
Mercenary 2: (to Thorne) “Come on, Blondie! Drop it!”
Thorne: “The name is Thorne!”

Page 38
Mercenary (on his broken bow): “Dang! And eet wuz ma fav’ret bow too!”

Daenon: (thinking) I had better give Thorne a hand… even if that imbecile doesn’t need it or deserve it either!

Page 40
Mercenary 2 (on which target to shoot first): Blond or brunette… decisions…

Page 41
Thorne: (to Daenon) “Now if you could do that, why didn’t you do that earlier instead of that fancy somersault thing?”
Daenon: (thinking) Picky… picky…

Page 46
Jaeger: (thinking) If he thinks he can outrun a warbeck, he’s dumber than he looks!”

Thorne: (thinking) Cornered! I’ll have to fight that armour-plated chobeck!
Fiddy: I heard that!


Now if you haven't read TLS, go and read it now!

Annoyance to Anger

I have been finding someone I work with irritating for some time now. Funny how some things that you can consider minor can slowly get to you. For my case, that mild prolong irritation escalated into that of anger. So much of it that I was red-faced and tears formed from the frustration. All I could picture was to bash that person's head in or throttle him till blue, instead I seethed trying to control from violent reaction.
Now it may be that I was overreacting and that being that livid was seriously OTT, but it did happen and I'm none too proud of it.

It all started when certain things in the lab goes missing. Angry as everyone was, nothing can be done about it since no one could rightly say why these things go missing from a kit. But one person in my lab keeps accusing me and another of the cause. Now my lab is not the most organized group, as we don't have managers or technicians to help with running a lab. So people are usually trying their best to order stuff needed for the lab when one notices that stocks are running low.

Now I have just been back from a long sunshine holiday, and lets say that being back in a basement lab in a place with shit weather is not what I call lifting your spirits.
So when yesterday when I wanted to use a kit and found it nearly empty I wasn't very happy. I needed to use 10 pieces from the kit and there was only 9. Before I left for the holiday, there was over 100 pieces. So where have the rest gone? No one seemed to know, and surprised in fact that so many had gone. There was still lots of chemicals that go with the pieces still so it shows that no one had been using the kit massively. No matter, I took 5 pieces and selectively did my experiment, while another 4 was later used by another colleague. And since the kit box was now empty, the colleague threw it away.

So when that person found out that the box was thrown because it was empty he was angry. Again, with the accusations... not believing that I and my other colleague did not use the entire 100 pieces or so. And since today our lab was moving to another space, no one had ordered a new kit.

First of all, OMG it was only yesterday afternoon that I and others in the lab (not the irritating guy of course) found the £500 kit nearly empty.

So why telling me that it was bad form of me for not ordering a new kit yesterday? I tried to tell him that we were moving labs today and tomorrow so no need to order urgently and anyway there is 100 pieces that we were supposed to still have.
"If we didn't move today and that I wanted to use the kit then I couldn't, can I?" he said.

Better still that that he told people in the lab that my colleague and I were the ones who threw away the empty box, though my colleague told him that he threw it. Got nothing to do with me, ok? Anyway, it was EMPTY. It was taking space on the crowded shelf. My colleague then put the chemicals that came with the kit on the shelf. That was also unacceptable for him, as then he said that we should also throw away the perfectly good chemicals.

Then to top it all off I was told not to follow bad habits from my other colleague who is senior than him in the research hierarchy. Like his habits are so desired...

Argh, just who does he think he is? He just started in this lab and is his first job having just graduated and he is bossing the senior post-docs with years and years of lab experience?
And why was it me that had to order a new kit? Is it because I have the most junior position in the lab?
I also hate how he talks to me and the senior post-doc. It's as if we are beneath his level.

Most of all though, I hate how I let this guy get to me. Now I have bleeding headache from all this.
Don't get me wrong, apart from this habit of his taking out his frustration on me and my other colleague, he is in general a nice guy, albeit a loud personality that is not really to my liking because I'm an introvert.

Hmmm, do I need anger management?